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Saving a Marriage

Is divorce the only answer to a relationship gone wrong? Does there have to be a permanent end to what was established in good faith, love and commitment? What is the guarantee that another such relationship won’t have similar problems? After all parents do not give up on children when there are differences, friends don’t give up easily during a rough patch.

Author: James Walsh

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Every relationship is bound to have bad times just as there will be good times too. Of course there are cases where divorce is the only obvious choice where a spouse abuses, steals is consistently unfaithful. One cannot help but wonder if there are other options to divorce when a relationship goes bad.

Most relationships go off the track when people stop communicating, careers take up more time than one gives a spouse and expectations become unreal. The problem with a marriage is during a rough patch it does not allow the space to heal and sort things out. If we have a problem with a friend, we can remain removed from the situation and then discuss the problem in an objective manner. However, in a marriage to be living under the same roof as the person you have a problem with does not allow you the space to be objective. The problem is in your face and instead of getting better spills over every other aspect where there were no problems to begin with.

Healing the Problems Away

Relationships are important, more important than we often care to acknowledge. Imagine having all the money in the world, all the luxuries and all the success and not having a single relationship with another person whether friends, siblings or spouse. Given that relationships define the life a person lives, it is bound to be complex and multifaceted just as we human beings are. When one enters a marriage it is with the hope that life will forever be a bed of roses. Reality though is different and circumstances change, things happen and each of us responds differently. In a marriage this normal sequence of events can spark of a series of negative reactions between couples and reaches a point where the event takes on a larger meaning than the relationship itself.

Some couples are adept and in tune with each other through out changing circumstances and so are able to weather the storm. Other couples might find themselves way out of their depths and are not able to cope with changes in a similar way. These changes then manifest into differences in every aspect of the relationship and things fall apart. If a form of healing is introduced and couples are able to get in touch with the root problem and heal that it could many a time save the relationship. Healing could result from counseling, family support or seeking help from friends. The bottom line though is that both the parties should want to.

Healing through counselling can help a couple understand that the problem is not the relationship but only a part of it and by identifying it separately can work that issue and hopefully that will help resolve matters. Of course it is not an overnight process and not absolutely simple. It involves commitment from both parties and the ability to face up to individual faults. Oftentimes the hard part is admitting that we have contributed to the problem too and counselling can help us come to terms with that weakness in our personality.
Support

The support we receive when we are going through a rough patch can definitely help things from getting out of hand. If during a difficult time we have family and friends whom we can talk to, we might have the strength to deal with the issue on hand. Our support system can offer us valuable advice and help us realise if we are over reacting to a situation or not. Further, when one is alone one feels weak and unable to combat a tough situation. This then makes things spiral out of control and reach a point where divorce becomes the only option.

In the event that there is no support system that we can fall back on, professional counsellors are a good option. Seeking professional help shows that two people care enough to want to work things out. This established, a councillor can work with the couple individually and together to help address the issues at hand and hopefully iron the problems out. Divorce should be the last option for couples except in extreme cases. Any relationship is beautiful and one must seek to nurture it and at times work at making it work. Nothing in life comes easy and the harder we work to make a relationship work the better will be the fruits of or labour.

About Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

Article Source: http://www.1888articles.com/author-james-walsh-2417.html

Saving a Marriage