Mom, If I'm Good Can I Go To the Dentist?

Mom, If I'm Good Can I Go To the Dentist?

Stumbled upon a way to get my 3 year old excited about going to the dentist. It made me wonder how often do we, parents, carry anxiety about something and approach things from the wrong direction.

By Elizabeth C. White

I stumbled upon a way to get my 3 year old excited about going to the dentist. It made me wonder how often do we, parents, carry anxiety about something and approach things from the wrong direction. Think about it. My son, Luke, had never heard of the dentist. He was joyfully unaware of the dreaded drill or painful shots. From the beginning we had not threatened, “brush your teeth or you’ll have to get a filling at the dentist”. Instead explaining, “if you don’t brush good, your teeth will get yellow and yucky”. This was motivation enough to produce cooperation.

Then came the time to begin seeing the dreaded dentist. What might happen if I convinced him that this was an adventure for big kids? Luke has always been fascinated with all things older. So instead of saying “you have to go to the dentist for a cleaning”. I tried, “you get to go to the dentist with the big kids”. It worked! He was excited about this new thing/person/place, even if he was totally unsure what it was. What if I gave him the mindset that you get to go to the dentist, instead of you have to go to the dentist.

Maybe the privileged, entitlement mindset American kids have these days originated from us parents.

I proceeded to explain in his language everything that would happen, and added the final selling point. “The dentist has a cool toothbrush that makes the sound of a Jedi light saber. The brush part spins and the toothpaste tastes good. Then there is this awesome spit sucker; it makes a sound like Darth Vader. And you get to sit in a magic chair that lies down like a bed. And the dentist will put these little cardboard pieces in your mouth for a minute and it takes pictures of your teeth that you get to look at. Oh yeah, the dentist and the dentist’s helper wear this cover over their mouths so they don’t breath germs on you. (You don’t want to call it a mask, because a little kid’s idea of a mask is Halloween.) If you do a good job and obey the dentist you will get a prize when you leave.”

Now the final selling point, “I don’t know if you are big enough to go. If you do a good job at school this week and make good choices at home too I’ll call the dentist and tell him you are big enough to come.” This turned into an every day round of, “mom, if I’m a good boy can I go to the dentist.”

Give it a try, lay aside you own anxiety or definition of a situation and in the language of your child make it fun. Here are some other things you should know about your child’s first dental visit…

Ask friends about the dentists who treat their children.

Ask your child's physician for a recommendation of dental professionals and an age recommendation for you child to begin.

Check with the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry.
(www.aapd.org) Some pediatric dentists do not allow parents in the room while treating children. They do not always offer this office policy so you should ask about this policy when you make the appointment.

(In my experience there was little to no difference in the pediatric dentist and family dentist we saw other than parents were prohibited in the room at the pediatric dentist we visited.)
Don’t be nervous, children absorb a parent’s anxiety.

Remember to take a picture; this is one of those forgotten firsts.

About Author

I am a Family Therapist in Macon, GA; and the mom of two young children. I have a background in Social Work and Family Counseling. I serve as the Associate Pastor of Christ Chapel in Macon, GA.

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