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Give Bullying a Knockout

Skinned knees heal sooner than hurt feelings. When the seeds of acceptance, tolerance and understanding are planted early, most bully behavior can be weeded out. Caroline Figiel and Danny Jones offer practical advice to give bullying a knockout!

Author: Caroline Figiel

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Young children love to talk about their injuries. Band-Aids are conversation starters for kids. Luckily elbows and knees can heal pretty quickly but when a child says something mean like, "You're stupid. You're a baby", that hurts another child's feelings. Hurt feelings can take a longer time to mend and continued teasing and taunting can have long lasting consequences.

My partner, Danny Jones and I are parents and national "edutainers" who have developed through music, stories and activities (preschool-5th grade) creative tools for parents and teachers to help children learn about age-old character words that relate to a family's real life experiences. To help children monitor their remarks, parents and educators can teach appropriate vocabulary and physical cues to help children label and recognize feelings. There are a lot of good books and songs about feelings. Puppets, masks and even Mr. Potato Head can teach children to match certain facial expressions with certain emotions. When a child is able to recognize the physical signs and then say they're angry, scared or frustrated, undesirable behaviors can fade. Most often in early childhood, hurtful words are said because of the lack of vocabulary to describe a feeling.

Young children can be taught tolerance and respect of individual's differences. These young minds are eager to learn that people come in all sizes, shapes and colors. People might express themselves through different languages-perhaps they even speak with their hands or read with their fingers. As children mature, if this message isn't reinforced, they can become cliquish with their own set of priorities. Starting in elementary school, bullying and teasing are hot topics. Most occurrences happen away from adult supervision so that the victim feels powerless. As parents and educators, we need to teach our children the difference between tattling and asking for help. We also need to encourage them to find their voice to stand up for themselves and others when bullying occurs.

A fifth grader came to me complaining that the "in girls" were teasing her about her choice of clothes. Just like studying for a test, practicing skills for a sport or rehearsing lines for an audition, we all feel more comfortable when we are prepared. Together we explored through role play, different strategies to handle the hurtful remarks. She chose to deflect the insults with humor. When the girls started to tease her again, she was able to use her preplanned strategy and "punch line". She gave bullying a "knockout". By asking for help and thinking ahead, she was able find her voice. For more information on Caroline and Danny's music, visit www.carolineanddanny.com .

About Author

Caroline and Danny, at http://www.carolineanddanny.com, have been writing and performing music for children since 2001. Their music is distributed nationally. Two of their CDs have become published and recorded curriculum in the fields of character education and music. Because of their unique combination of education and entertainment, many corporate and educational conferences request them to present opening sessions on a variety of topics.

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Give Bullying a Knockout