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Get Rid Of These Common Problems And Improve Your Relationship

Millions of couples endure the nightmare of relationship breakdown every year and the divorce rate shows no sign of slowing. It seems that many people find it very difficult to form lasting, happy relationships and here are 5 common mistakes that kill relationships.

Author: Chris Green

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Get rid of them from your relationship and you'll enjoy a happier love life.

Effective communication between lovers is a cornerstone of every successful relationship. Communicating wants and needs clearly to each other reduces misunderstandings and confusion and brings clarity. But many people have a somewhat silly notion that their partners "should automatically know what I want" and get frustrated and angry when their partner doesn't deliver. OK, as much as you wish, people are not telepathic mind readers and expecting them to be is unrealistic. So let each other know your wants and needs clearly and in a non-demanding way and watch your relationship grow stronger.

One of the most destructive forces you can introduce to your relationship is guilt. Guilt is used by to exert control over someone to gain more value. It works by reminding your partner of their shortcomings - an affair, a mistake, comparing them to "better" people in other relationships, keeping score of all their failings no matter how slight - to achieve a desired outcome. E.g. "Bev is such a great wife to Mike, she always has a nice meal ready for him when he comes home. You obviously don't love me because you never cook for me." It is such a nasty game, it really is. Never play the guilt game with partners, and never accept such poor behavior. Guilt has no place in a loving relationship - ever.

Neediness is a real problem for relationships. Neediness is needing to be with someone to have a life. A needy person puts huge pressure on the relationship because in needing to have someone around all the time, they suffocate their partners. Neediness communicates all the wrong things about a person: dependent, insecure, approval seeking, fear-driven, low self esteem and over time, these all take a heavy toll on a relationship. Better is to have a life of your own and to be happy whether or not you are in a relationship. This removes the neediness virus, keeps you fresh and interesting and improves the relationship because you aren't suffocating your partner.

Respect for each is absolutely fundamental. This means accepting and loving your partner for the wonderful, unique human being they are. However, many people actually believe they "own" their partner, and expect them to conform in ways they deem appropriate. This is more like slavery than love! Your partner isn't your private property, they certainly aren't your slave and it isn't conducive to a happy relationship to restrict their freedoms by treating them this way. Your partner may want to grow in ways you may not like or even feel comfortable with but preventing their growth not only stifles them but you as well. Because your partner will treat you in the same way. Instead of restricting each other's freedoms, it is far better encourage your partner to grow and become the person they want to be. Indeed, this is the only way true love can flourish.

Clinginess is such a harmful trait. Clingy people spoil their relationships by suffocating their partners by always being with them. Having a clingy partner is like owning a love-struck puppy that follows its owner everywhere. And when their owner isn't around, separation anxiety sets in. It is bad for man to be with a woman like this but boy-oh-boy it is a million times worse when a man behaves like this with a woman. And if you've ever been socialising and your clingy partner dogs you all night, you'll know how stifling this is. Have the confidence to be your own person and allow your partner space to breathe. Your relationship will be all the better for it.

Put this knowledge to work for your relationship and both you and your partner will enjoy greater happiness.

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To discover more articles and tips to help you improve your relationship, check out the resources we’ve put together for you over on our website at: http://www.transformyourlovelife.com

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