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Deciding on Divorce

‘A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you’ - Margaret Atwood

Author: James Walsh
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Sally and Martin were happily married for five years until Martin lost his job. She had to work overtime to meet the household expenses and so expected Martin to help her out with the household chores. He was not used to cooking or cleaning and felt she was taking advantage of his position. The couple started to fight about each other’s duties and responsibilities which, finally, led to divorce. Although Martin got a job and Sally did not have to overwork, it did not make them happy. Finally, the couple got back and re-married after a few months. All the effort, time and money spent towards the legal proceedings could have been saved if they had considered the consequences and analysed if they were really prepared for it.

Deciding on divorce is not a child’s play that you make in a fit of rage. This decision is far more critical and needs more thought even than a marriage because of the serious emotional and financial consequences. Do not jump into divorce if you are confused about the decision, else you might end up risking your happiness and peace of mind all through your life.

Divorce – Preparing for the Ordeal

The divorce rate is rapidly increasing all over the world. In the UK, one out of two marriages ends in a divorce. A lot of these could be avoided with a little effort from the couple. However, if you have tried all the alternatives and divorce is the only option left, then prepare yourself for it.

A lot of ground work needs to be carried out in order to avoid unpleasant problems after the divorce. Here are a few things that you need to take care of in order to prevent your past troubles from haunting your future.

Financial Arrangement

In the absence of proper planning, divorce can pave the way for bankruptcy. Following are the necessary considerations that can help you secure your future financially:

1. Try to reach an amicable solution with your spouse regarding sharing of assets such as the cars, furniture, etc to avoid spending a fortune towards legal bills.
2. Reach an arrangement on spousal support that is reasonable to both the partners.
3. Arrange to receive sufficient child support that can help you cover necessary expenses for your children.
4. Do not forget to freeze joint bank and credit card accounts that you might hold with your spouse. If you do not have a separate bank account, set up one and make it your salaried account instead of a joint account.
5. Review your insurance policies such as life insurance to change the beneficiary and have separate health insurance policies.
6. Secure your future by arranging to receive a portion of your husband’s pension.
7. Make sure to protect your inherited property.

Emotional Preparation

Preparing yourself mentally for the process and taking steps to overcome the pain, might help you deal with the emotional problems associated with it.

1. By being angry with your spouse, you would continue to hold on to your past memories. Try forgiving your spouse’s mistakes and move on with your future.
2. Try concentrating on your hobbies that would divert your mind.
3. Make a list of things that you enjoyed doing but had to give up due to your spouse such as going to your favourite restaurant with your friends on Friday nights that you had missed since marriage.
4. If none of these help, meet a counsellor to help you get out of the emotional disturbance.

Child Custody:

The future of the children can be affected by the separation of the parents. However, with proper care and comfort from both the parents, the unpleasant consequences can be avoided.

1. Decide upon the child custody, frequency of child visitation by the spouse and the grandparents.
2. Do not use the child to mediate the grievances about your partner.
3. Make the children understand that although the parents are divorced they would still have the love and affection of both of them.
4. Provide more attention to your children to help them overcome the separation from one of their parents.

If you are planning for a divorce, ask yourself if it is really worth risking your child’s future and lowering your standard of living. By working on the differences and sorting them out, you would not only be securing your future but also protecting the happiness of your entire family.

About Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on purchasing a managed Divorce online see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk/divorce-option1.html

Article Source: http://www.1888articles.com/author-james-walsh-2417.html

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