Children And Divorce Article - News And Life Style Divorce Articles

	1888 Articles Home \| News and Life Style Articles \| Divorce Articles	Divorce RSS
Children and Divorce

For the last four or five decades, the divorce rate has been witnessing an upward rise in almost all societies. In fact, legal separation has become so common now that in some countries almost half of marriages are ending up in divorce. This is a very serious situation which has some deep implications for the stability of the social structure as a whole.

Author: James Walsh

Article Tools:

There are many factors that have been responsible for boosting the divorce rate to current levels. Women are today as well educated as men. They take up the same jobs and earn the same amount of money. This has made them financially independent. There has also been a sea change in social norms and attitudes over the years.

The rise of individualism has ensured that people today can afford to ignore the social consensus and instead give first preference to their own wishes and aspirations. The attitude today is “I am like this only. Take it or leave it.” Legislatures have also kept pace with the changing social scene and have liberalised divorce laws immensely. If both the partners agree to part amicably, they can end their marriage in as little as two months.

Divorce can also occur due to various factors within the family, such as emotional or physical abuse which makes a partner escape the relationship with the children. Then there are extramarital affairs that are a common cause of breaking up families.

A family is a great and very old institution that has withstood the test of time. It is the basic building block of society which gives it strength and stability. A family is also necessary for propagation of human race. It is like an incubator where children are born and reared by responsible adults until they become independent and are able to take care of themselves.

The institution of family is crucial for a healthy development of children. Parental divorce has a catastrophic effect on their emotional growth and leaves them limping for the rest of their lives. Such children fare poorly in every area – education, confidence, and maturity, achievements – compared to their peers who come from loving and intact families. Divorce of parents affects children in various ways.

Insecurity

Children need a safe and secure atmosphere to grow up in. They thrive under warm and affectionate parents who keep reassuring them that they are there to protect them if anything goes wrong. Family is the refuge of children from the world where they find a safe shelter. Divorce of parents destroys this arrangement as the family disintegrates.

The first question that confronts children in their mind is “What will now happen to us? Who will take care of us?” This insecurity imbibed in childhood lasts a lifetime and comes back to haunt them when they turn into adults. Other people find it easy to dominate them and the grown-up children find it difficult to assert themselves.

Education

It has been proven by many research studies that children of divorce fare poorly in studies and get lower grades than their peers. This is because their attention span lowers and they are unable to concentrate. Many take to deviant behaviour in school. Some become local bullies as a way to compensate for their lack of emotional security. In today’s economy driven by intellectual capabilities, the children’s low grades lay a weak foundation for achieving success later in life.

Stress and Guilt Complex

The final divorce of parents is usually preceded by months and even years of discord and dispute between them. They quarrel loudly in front of children as the latter cower in a corner. Research has shown that more than the actual split of parents, it is this pre-divorce stress and anxiety pervading the entire home that causes real emotional damage.

Children start having nightmares and the stress never really leaves them in their later lives. Such children also develop a guilt complex as they believe that they were not worthy of their parent’s affection and care. They think that they couldn’t make themselves lovable enough to their parents and that is why the family is breaking apart.

Later Life

The foundations of success or failure of a person as an adult is laid in his or her childhood. A weak foundation obviously cannot support them in later life. Children of divorce carry insecurity and lack of confidence deep in their sub-conscious minds when they grow up and mostly turn out to be underachievers.

They cannot rise to the natural level mandated by their talent or hard work. They remain sceptical of social relationships and are unable to make long-lasting friendships. Quite a few of them are loners and feel uncomfortable in social situations.

About Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk

Article Source: http://www.1888articles.com/author-james-walsh-2417.html

Children and Divorce