Breaking Down The Cycle Of Self-hate (gentleness Acceptance) Article

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Breaking down the cycle of self-hate (gentleness acceptance)

Helpful tips for relationships and personal growth

Author: Sevin Philips Mfti

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Deep down many believe that there is something inherently wrong with them. We spend time trying to pinpoint these flaws, and then judge them once they are found. We hate ourselves for being flawed, and attempt to eradicate these flaws by punishing ourselves. We act out this self-hate with a plethora of defeating behaviors which include, drugs, alcohol, over/under eating, watching to much TV, proclaiming our flaws to those around us or by turning our backs to the love that is available. Once we act-out this self defeating behavior we add more fuel to the fire and have more reason to dislike ourselves.

The cycle of self-hate is cause for much suffering. When we believe we are flawed, we act out in self defeating behavior, thereby reinforcing our flawed nature and the cycle continues. This cycle needs to stop if we are to be happy and free

In past articles I have explored some of the origins of our negative beliefs. Although knowing who has fed us these lies about our nature may be important it is not essential to changing our life. If we are willing to challenge our core beliefs lets start with an intention.

Are you willing to consider the possibility that your essential nature is good and unflawed?

This doesn’t mean we have to believe it now, just consider the possibility.

Keep in mind that being inherently good does not preclude us from undergoing difficult times. Feeling lost or scared and reacting unfavorable to difficult situations is just a part of the human experience, not proof of the wrongness in us. There is nothing wrong with us. Life is just full of experiences, both pleasant and hard. We may amend any harm we have done, pick up our intention to be kind and practice some more. There is no perfection, only practice.

For those of us willing to consider the possibility here are some suggestions to practice:

· Practice gentleness. Have compassion for yourself and others as we get caught up in the cycle of self-hate. Be gentle with yourself even when you act out in self-defeating behavior. Know that you are suffering and need healing, not criticism.

· Find a teacher or mentor who can mirror your innate goodness to you.

· Challenge your beliefs by examining your experience as it is, and not as you believe it to be.

· Accept yourself as you are now, not who you think you should be. Healing is a process and happens over time.

· Foster the relationships and communities that support you and be willing to let go of the ones that don’t

Article by: Sevin Philips, MA MFTI

Counseling & Psychotherapy in San Francisco

http://sftherapy.org/

About Author

Sevin Philips, MFTI is has a counseling & psychotherapy practice in San Francisco, California. Sevin works with individuals, couples and groups. Helping men & women move beyond old patterns and into move fulfilling lives Website: http://sftherapy.org/

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Breaking down the cycle of self-hate (gentleness acceptance)