Are You Expecting Your Partner To Bring You Happiness? Article

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Are you expecting your partner to bring you happiness?

The title itself seems to be a contradiction in terms, but with the rising number of divorces and an increasing numbers of individuals choosing to remain single, is there something out of balance.

Author: Sahayak Plowman

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What is it that you seek most in your life - love, success, happiness and contentment? For most of us this would be a dream come true. But somewhere in our pursuit of this dream it all falls apart, and we are left disappointed, frustrated, angry and disillusioned. So where is it all going wrong?

If we were to take a good look at ourselves, we would realise that we are the some total of all our memories, passions, experiences, feelings and conditionings careering through life pursuing our dreams. In the course of this pursuit we are functioning mostly through the activities of our physical mind as we make judgements and decisions that direct our lives.

Now this being the case this is the beginning of most of our problems. The very nature of our physical mind is limited. Now that may be a strange concept, but let's look closer. The mind deals with the finite, it makes decisions, it analyses, it judges, it doubts, it defines, it criticises and so.

By the very nature of the mind we are then limited by its reality. Within these limitations lie our ego, frustrations, disappointments, anger, expectations, fears, jealousies, selfishness, attachment and complaints.

But we know we also experience moments of compassion, unconditional love, selflessness and concern, but these by comparison to the mind's directives are limited. Where do these deeper and more fulfilling feelings come from, how can we get a balance of the two? They rise from an inner and calm reality that we call the spiritual heart. The spiritual heart is the source of our lasting happiness, that part free from any variations in our outer experiences.

To develop the qualities of the spiritual heart the practice of prayer and meditation is most beneficial. Through regular practice we bring forward many higher qualities those that bring others and us lasting happiness.

These realities pass into the limited nature of the physical mind, revealing it to the higher experiences of the soul.

So when we function from the limited reality of the physical mind we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to be inwardly content, happy and fulfilled.

In our endeavour to bring these basic qualities into our own lives we turn outwardly to relationships in the expectation that they shall fill the gaps in ours. We look for partners who will fulfil our needs, immediately placing pressure on that person with our expectations. And of course when these are not met the relationship ends with disappointment, frustration and possibly anger.

But we have not yet learnt the lesson so we continue year after year chasing that elusive happiness. After all aren't we being shown again and again in the glossy tabloids and media, that the pursuit of happiness through relationships is the goal of life! So on and on we go until the disappointments and frustrations mount to such a point that we finally decide that it is simpler and easier to lead a single life to avoid the anxieties, or that the regular consumption of drugs temporarily hides the pain of unhappiness or depression.

If this sounds all too familiar you can definitely turn you life around, it is never too late to make a change, you deserve to be happy. I would strongly encourage you to look for a sincere meditation group and teacher who will encourage and show you how to develop your own meditation practice.

Your teacher shall give you the guidance to gradually free yourself of the binding and limited nature of the physical mind opening you to the fulfilling and lasting experiences of simplicity, unconditional love, happiness, selflessness, compassion, concern and harmony of the spiritual heart. Then you shall see that your true happiness is self generating, it is no longer dependent on others.

About Author

Biography - Sahayak Plowman by nature is a positive and happy person. He attributes this to the growing experiences gained through his own fourteen-year meditation practice with the loving guidance given by his meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy. He is a writer on spiritual topics, the compiler of a book of poetry, a lover of fine vegetarian food and the web master for Sri Chinmoy Books.com http://www.srichinmoybooks.com/

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Are you expecting your partner to bring you happiness?